Baylor: King of the Big 12
Baylor fans rush onto the field of Floyd Casey Stadium in response to the Pac-12 announcing it would not expand.
Waco, TX – Realizing that their school had just scored the most notable victory in the history of its sports program, Baylor students and officials were exuberant in their celebration of Baylor’s continued unwarranted existence as a member of the BCS elite. In fact, despite having maintained their status through legal wrangling that by all rights should have splintered the Big 12 conference immediately, Baylor actually ended up causing the conference to make reforms that would not only stabilize it in the near term, but would also put into place revenue sharing model that would put money earned by conference powers Texas and Oklahoma directly into the pockets of lesser performing conference schools, like Baylor.
"You see, by virtue of my actions, your money is now our money, President Boren. It's really in the best interest of college athletics." -Baylor President Ken Starr
In terms of historical significance, Baylor’s victory is by far the fourth biggest in Big 12 conference since its formation, rivaled only by National Championships by Oklahoma, Texas, and Nebraska. Said Oklahoma Head Football coach Bob Stoops on the development, “It just goes to prove the old saying ‘It’s better to be litigious than good’”.
When asked for comment, Baylor President Ken Starr said “In terms of an underdog story, we blow Rudy out of the water. We were only here in the first place because Ann Richards was an alumna, shoot, even Rice had about as big a claim to being in the conference as us, and now we’ve gone from perennial cellar dweller to perennial cellar dweller. OK, it doesn’t sound that impressive when you put it like that. Sorry, I’m just excited to have something to talk about other than Bill Clinton’s sex life.”
Pictured: Official Application for Baylor Presidency Position
